How to Break the Cycle of Insomnia Caused by Anxiety

Insomnia is incredibly frustrating for those who experience it. Many individuals

experience lying awake, tossing and turning while desperately hoping to fall asleep. Showing up to a demanding job or routine the next day is incredibly challenging and can even be dangerous.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, CDC, roughly 39% of adults between the ages of 45-65 report experiencing insufficient amounts of sleep per night (2022).

There are many causes of insomnia such as, but not limited to, sleep-related disorders, alcohol and/or caffeine consumption, medical conditions, and anxiety/stress.

Anxiety Caused By Insomnia

Anxiety related insomnia can create a vicious cycle. Anxiety leads to disruptions in

sleep habits, which affects mental and physical performance while awake, which can

then lead to more anxiety due to the negative repercussions of not getting enough

sleep.

How do we break this cycle of anxiety-induced insomnia? By increasing awareness of

family patterns and learning to regulate anxiety differently, you can create conditions for

better rest.

Anxiety doesn’t just appear out of nowhere. In Bowen family systems theory, anxiety

often emerges in the context of relationships. For example:

• If you grew up in a family where emotions weren’t openly talked about, you may

have learned to hold in worries rather than process them.

• If your role was to be the “responsible one,” you might carry others’ stress, even

into adulthood.

• If there was a lot of conflict or unpredictability, your body may have learned to

stay “on alert,” making it difficult to relax, especially at night.

Early in life, some of us may have developed patterns of thought or behavior that

shaped how our nervous system responds to stress. Over time, when we face anxiety in

daily life, our bodies may repeat these familiar responses by staying tense, overthinking,

or keeping ourselves awake.

Breaking the Cycle: A Bowen Approach

The good news is, the cycle can be interrupted.

1. Increase Self-Observation

Start by noticing how your anxiety is connected to relationships.

• Do certain conversations with family leave you more restless at night?

• Do you tend to absorb other people’s stress and carry it into bedtime?

This kind of awareness is a cornerstone of Bowen theory. It helps you see the bigger

picture of the emotional process which may be connected to your levels of stress.

2. Strengthen Your Sense of Self

In families, tension in relationships has a snowball effect. It’s easy to get pulled into

others’ emotions. Bowen called this fusion. The more fused we are, the more anxious

we become when others are stressed. Developing a clearer sense of self (your own

thoughts, values, and limits) can reduce this pull. At night, this looks like reminding

yourself:

• “This is their stress, not mine to solve right now.”

• “I can care about my family without carrying their anxiety to bed with me.”

3. Practice Calming Rituals that Lower System Anxiety

Instead of fighting sleeplessness, create a bedtime routine that signals safety to your

body:

• Slow, deep breathing or meditation.

• Writing down worries to revisit tomorrow (so your brain doesn’t have to hold them

all night).

• Gentle stretches to release physical tension.

These practices lower anxiety not just for you, but they can also have a ripple effect on

those around you, making the family system itself less anxious.

4. Work on Family Relationships During the Day

Interestingly, sleep often improves when you reduce tension in your family relationships.

This might mean:

• Responding more calmly instead of getting pulled into conflict.

• Setting healthier boundaries with loved ones.

• Choosing thoughtful engagement instead of avoidance or over-involvement.

The less reactive your days are, the more peaceful your nights can become.

A New Way Forward

Breaking the cycle of insomnia caused by anxiety isn’t about quick fixes or sleep hacks.

It’s about understanding how anxiety operates in your family system and learning new

ways to manage it.

When you begin to separate your sense of self from the anxious pull of others, your

nervous system can finally let go of being “on duty.” Rest becomes possible. Sleep

becomes less of a battle and more of a natural rhythm your body can trust again.

If you are struggling with anxiety and insomnia, I can help. Please reach out for a free

15-minute consultation.

Stephanie Brannan, LPC-Associate #96795

Supervised by Deana Reed, LPC-S #68220

stephaniebrannan@nlcc1.com

512-677-2577