Generativity vs. Stagnation When you consider your life experiences, do your memories and experience create life, enthusiasm, or meaning? Or do they bring weight, disappointment, or despair? What does such a survey tell you about yourself? I suppose some young people may ask such questions, and I yield my hat. After 34 years as a therapist, I’ve observed that this inventory picks up speed as we age. Focusing on what breeds life becomes far more important than temporary

Our early relationships help shape how we view ourselves, other people, and the world around us. When childhood experiences involve neglect, emotional invalidation, abuse, bullying, loss, chronic criticism, family conflict, or other distressing events, the emotional impact can continue long after childhood has ended. While the events themselves may be in the past, the nervous system can continue responding as though those experiences are still happening. This is where EMDR ca

Imposter syndrome is often rooted in thinking that everyone around you is highly aware of your lack of qualification. By looking at the actual reality of the situation it will often be revealed that you are exactly where you should be according to your credentials. Being honest about your capabilities should allow you to have confidence in your position as it is a reflection of all you have worked so hard to accomplish up until this point.

In marriage, it can feel like we fight about everything—and sometimes about nothing that really matters. Many couples are surprised to find that it’s possible to have a fairly intense conflict over something small and ordinary. In most conflicts, the process matters more than the content. Even when the subject seems simple or non-essential, a lot of distress can get stirred up in our nervous system. Once that happens, the conflict escalates and we become dysregulated.

When couples come to therapy, they are often stuck in cycles of blame and other intense emotions. Sometimes the blame is directed outward such as: “You never listen.” or “You’re always critical.” or some similar emotional statements. When couples move from blaming themselves or others to understanding themselves, they become more thoughtful, more grounded, and more capable of genuine connection. The goal isn’t perfection, it’s maturity.

We were created for community but at times our internal narratives or heightened expectations keep us from fully experiencing it. Therapy is a helpful tool for individuals experiencing these kinds of burdens who need the encouragement to engage with their relationships in a way that brings emotional freedom.