- Tommy Estes
Misconceptions about Men and Therapy: from a male's perspective
“Asking for help makes me weak.”
I get it. I lived under this idea for years. As matter of fact, when I was in Basic Training, I remember my Drill SGT saying, “Pain is nothing more than weakness leaving your body!” I still live by this code in a lot of ways. But trust me when I tell you, there is nothing weak or unmanly about admitting that, “I might need some help or encouragement for a season of my life.”
“I’ll go to counseling, but I really don’t think it’s going to fix anything.”
A therapist’s job is not to fix anyone. Think of a therapist like you would a financial advisor or an attorney, which is to help you manage or understand your challenges and resources. What you do with what you learn in therapy is completely up to you. No more than going to the gym and hanging out in the lobby will make you “buff”. You have to put in the effort.
“I don’t want to be judged by a therapist.”
Therapists are required by the state licensing board to abide by a code of ethics to have your best interest at heart. A therapist wants to provide a safe and confidential space so you can share your thoughts and concerns without judgment.
As a combat veteran and a therapist, I do not think anyone is weak for seeking therapy, as matter of fact I champion the willingness and the open-mindedness that seeks help. I welcome tough conversations with you en route to exploring options and resources. I want to join you in a journey that sets you up for your greatest potential in life.
Tommy Estes, MTh
Graduate Student Intern
Supervised by Angel Hirsch, LPC #78101