A large part of the work of managing anxiety is establishing your values and principles, which will define your boundaries. The next step is increasing your tolerance for discomfort from other people not approving of your boundaries. It sounds simple, but it can be hard work. It requires time and effort to tease out the real you and find your boundaries.

Finding our sense of self requires sifting through thoughts and feelings to determine which are ours vs what we absorbed and learned from the “system” to maintain harmony. Where is the pseudo-self showing up to maintain harmony rather than the solid self that is free of pressures to conform to keep the peace? Where are you (the solid self, not the pseudo self)? Through the work of distinguishing what is solid self vs the pseudo-self we gain more clarity.